Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Some Days...

As a working mother of two I am often faced with "mommy guilt". Some days I feel more equipped to deal with it than other days and for some reason the holidays seem to be a time where I struggle the most. Like anyone with a "Type A" very goal oriented personality in an average day I cram 48 hours worth of stuff into 24 running 150 miles an hour amidst trying to keep within the constraints of what I  jokingly call my world,  "perfectville". My "to do" items are carefully documented on daily check lists.

When you add decorating a house for the holidays, gifts for the kids, family, neighbors, friends, getting supplies for school parties for the kids, cookie exchanges etc to an already jammed packed schedule you know something is going to give at some point. For me it was last Friday when trying to juggle it all I was saddened by I guess what I would consider realization that I cant do it all, all the time. I had a 10:00 conference call and a 12:00 appointment and the 10:00 call overlapped with the gingerbread decorating at my son's school.  As luck would have it, it was also a day my husband was traveling for work so getting the kids ready for school and me for work fell on my shoulders.

I got ready before my call so I could leave as soon as it was over and arrived at the school at 10:45 to my darling kindergartner who had just finished his gingerbread house. He hugged me and looked up at me with those beautiful brown eyes and the longest eyelashes ever and said  "You missed the whole thing". I choked back tears. Of course I left the school broken hearted and frustrated that sometimes try as we might, we just fall short.

So, I must remind myself  and hopefully you too (because I think that society doesn't - they are too quick to judge us) that I can only do the best I can each day. My contribution to my family not only includes my time, but a roof over our head, food on the table, financial security and the opportunity for many things that would otherwise be out of their reach.

If you are shaking your head up and down as you are reading this, then I hope this blog can remind you as well during the busy holiday season to just do the best you can and that as a working mom, our contributions count in many different ways. I know that while I missed out on this one, there will be another opportunity not to far down the road and I am forever hopeful that one of the things my children take away from me as a parent is how to model themselves to be independent and successful.

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